


There's A Way

by XSuicuneX



Series: Peeling back the Layers [1]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/F, Implied Yu/Naoto, Original Character(s), Persona relationships, Sukuna/Himiko, there are weird hc's for personae in here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:38:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5777161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XSuicuneX/pseuds/XSuicuneX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She'd always been drawn to her, always. But she never wanted to admit it. There was Senpai to look up to after all...but when confronted with the mistakes of her past, Rise can't run away anymore. The question is, does she even want to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fractal Shifts

Emotions were like songs.

Fractured, out of tune, sometimes discordant while others….others were sweet and made the most perfect of harmonies.

It was her job partially to read these notes, to discern the meaning from the phrases and chords, to gather them up into a comprehensible whole and to share it with her host, just one more part of what made her, her, the strength of Rise Kujikawa and her ability to face the outer world.

However, sometimes that task was just that much harder when it was her host that was creating such discordant tunes.

It had been almost a week, in human terms, so long has she been unable to speak through the clash of broken harmony that was Rise’s sadness. So tiring it was, trying to sooth out the noise in some futile attempt to create something palatable to the ears.

In short, she really really wished Izanami’s host would be slightly more considerate of other’s feelings before sharing the news of his current romantic intentions.

“So what has _you_ so mopey, hmm?” Smooth words, carelessly tossed out as a small insect persona flew in. Sukuna Hikona flitting about however he pleased as usual, his duel facets and emotions as easily shifting as ever.

It still was a relief, compared to Rise’s current angst.

“It’s not me, it’s Rise.” She tossed out, just as carelessly, still working hard on trying to smooth out the edges, realign the tones. If only Rise would stop and _think_ for a second then maybe…

“Oh, don’t _you_ start.” He warned, finally finding a spot to land, perching on an amorphous branch crafted from the aether, the odd space _between_ that they resided when not called. “You’ll turn _yourself_ into a shadow at that rate. Don’t be stupid.” He paused a beat. “Not that I wouldn’t mind seeing that swimsuit again.”

She frowned, ignoring the Fortune’s cheek for the moment, trying to keep her own mind on task. “It’s Souji.” She admitted, just to cease his probing. “He admitted to Rise about him and Yosuke.”

“Izanami’s an imbicile.” Came the calloused and blunt reply, and she could almost see a sleeve flapping in the wind as the hand gestured dismissively. “And Jiraiya’s all the more welcome to it. He’s charming, I will say, but when it comes to certain matters of _taste_.” He paused, arching a brow at her. “He lacks luster.”

“I spoke of Souji, not Izanami.” She frowned, turning away from that almost smug face, giving a petulant pout of her own at the persona’s cold words. “Izanami’s perfectly fine. Noble.”

“He’s an idiot.” Sukuna Hikona flitted over to her, watching as she smoothed out the rough edges of Rise’s depression. “So’s his host for that matter, but they are the same technically.” Always pointing out the facts, it was a constant black and white to him, still. She refrained from mentioning that they were only _aspects_ of their other selves, not the whole thing.

Though he might have been right about Izanami and her…maybe a little.

Not that she’d admit it.

“Why are you here?” She asked instead, tilting her head in a curious manner, watching him study the way she worked through her host’s emotions with an almost frightening focus. “You must be in my range to appear here…”

“Why is Naoto Shirogane anywhere?” He asked back, turning to give her an almost blank look. She could see his other self beneath his normal aspect, an almost smirk beneath those gleaming yellow eyes.

His contrasts gave her a headache sometimes.

“A case then. Rise will be pleased.” Though perhaps not. Ever had there always been an odd dissonance between their hosts, just as there were between them. Though, that wasn’t exactly the Detective’s fault…

The smaller persona laughed and laid back, flopping right in front of her work, like he was a cat and not a bug. She could feel herself scowling, crossing her arms and huffing down at him, only for him to smile brightly back at her. Ug.

“So will Naoto~” He sang, lifting a sleeve covered hand to gently stroke along her cheek. She tried not to lean into it, even though the touch felt good and she liked that look in his amber eyes. Still.

“You’re in my way.” She grumbled, pouting again. Never mind that her arms across her chest gave him ample view of her bosom, or that she tilted slightly downward, giving him a better look.

The attention was nice, in a way.

He laughed again and sat up, instead of moving away choosing instead to draw closer to her, that gleaming grin in front of her face. “I could do something else.” He offered, cheeky smirk growing. “It might cheer Rise up even.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She huffed, turning away and walking several steps from the infuriating persona. Even though she wanted to, but not now. Not so soon after…

“Izanagi _is_ an idiot.” He reiterated, and she turned to find him scowling, frown on his face and sleeved hand on his hip. His eyes were narrowed, piercing into her, piecing together the puzzles of her fractured and perpetually shifting being.

She shivered, though the fact that she perpetually wore a two piece bikini had nothing to do with it.

He scowled, turning away. “So are the rest of you, for that matter.” He grumbled. “We will see each other again, I’m certain. The case Naoto’s on will likely lead her to you.” He then turned, his mood shifting to dark as it always did. She took a step forward.

“Sukuna Hikona.” She called out.

He paused for a moment, then tilted his cap, saluted, then flittered off into the aether, leaving her alone once more.

She really wished he didn’t do that, even if his coming stirred up feelings long since buried, feelings she, nor Rise, had any desire to confront now.

She frowned and glanced down, slowly watching the discordant harmony of her-Rise’s-emotions swirl about, an almost painful noise assaulting her eardrums.

It was going to be a long night…


	2. There's A Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for Rise~

Rise Kujikawa stared at the glowing screen in front of her like it was another ugly shadow to scan, like something foul and unknown, something that she didn't **want** to get to know more about, but had to all the same.   
  
It was a letter from Souji, detailing the recent events in his life.  
  
Including, of course, his current involvement with a certain Yosuke Hanamura.  
  
She crossed her arms and stared, stared hard at the screen, window open to a reply, space blank beneath the previous letter. She, again for what felt like the fifteenth time, lifted her hands and paused over the keyboard, only to huff and lay them on her chest once more.   
  
It wasn't like she was unhappy for them, always it had seemed those two were close, and she didn't envy them the troubles they'd inevitably have to deal with. Society being what it was....  
  
No. She didn't envy them at all.  
  
But, despite all that she told herself the spiteful feeling of it not being _fair_ still spiked in her chest. She'd tried so hard, had wanted him so long, and he....  
  
But in the end she still couldn't match up to his 'partner' it seemed.  
  
She...was jealous. She had to admit that. Even if they would have to hide it, would have to go through hell with it, and through it all the thought that she just wasn't **good** enough was there poisoning her feelings on the whole matter.   
  
Would it have been worse if it was another girl? She didn't know....  
  
But, even so. She wanted him to be happy. Both of them really. So when she finally **did** manage to type out a response it was full of her usual Rise charm and cheer, congratulating him and showing him her support.   
  
She was nothing if not a good actress. It being her job and all.  
  
Speaking of, she closed her laptop after that, sighing as she got ready for her next rehearsal. They were on their way to a big concert, with her and a bunch of other idols all joining together for some huge charity fund. It wasn't the first time she'd been to these things, but something about the other girls had always been a bit...draining. She liked them well enough, and some were nice, but a few just seemed so different from her that she couldn't get along with them. It wasn't that she didn't try, but...  
  
Well, idol life being what it was, she made do with what she had. And Inuoe-San wanted her and Kanami-chan to get this number down before they got to their location, so she set her things, and her pain, aside and put her mind into Risette, ready to work and please the masses.

* * *

 

  
It was later that night, after several hours of lip syncing, sweating and aching, burning feet when she heard the news from the roadies. Apparently one of the other idols had gotten a scare and a threat, so there would be police presence while the concert went on. Rise didn't care much to pay it any attention, but when they mentioned a detective being hired to take care of things, she couldn't help but have her interests piqued.   
  
A detective? Could they mean....?  
  
She tried not to hope, even if it had been several months since she'd last heard from the tiny bluenette. The likelihood that it was Shirogane was a one in one thousand chance, and she didn't want to get her hopes up.   
  
Though a small, tiny part of her couldn't help but laugh at the timing of it all. After the death of one crush, the other appearing as if by magic...  
  
But no. She'd given up on that already, hadn't she? It wasn't proper, no matter her feelings. It would never...  
  
She leaned back in her seat while the train drove her at fifty miles across the next three prefectures, frowning as memories long buried arose unbidden in her mind.   
  
Oh how she wished they'd _stay_ buried...

* * *

 

_When she’s first seen him, she’d been taken by his eyes first of all. So blue he had to be foreign, a deep intensity that didn’t belong on a high school student. She didn’t need Himiko to tell her the obvious._

_This kid had a secret._

_Of course, she’d been focused on other things then, self-deprecating, self-pitying things involving who she was and where she belonged and all that. What to do about her career…. She hadn’t had time to examine the cute blue haired detective who’d been nosing around her shop, and anyway, he didn’t seem all that nice. A pretty face but a lousy attitude, who goes for that?_

_She’d frankly had her fill of pretty assholes, thanks._

_Souji and his friends had been kinder, had stuck out more, but even then she oftentimes found herself thinking back to that meeting and those deep, intense blue eyes._

_Then she went through her own personal hell and things had gone crazy for a bit, and why would she focus on a tiny detective with an attitude problem when she had her Sempai? Her sweet, kind and understanding Sempai, always willing to go with her and talk to her about her problems, even if he did seem busier than anyone had a right to be._

_Even if he seemed far more into his fellow classmates than her…._

_Still, the detective had a nasty habit of getting under her skin, so it wasn’t like he was easy to ignore. Always it was the eyes, those intense, blue, blue eyes haunting her. Kanji wasn’t the only one smitten it seemed._

_She’d tried to ignore him, she truly did, but when they passed in the club and Himiko pinged her with a spike of loneliness she couldn’t help but chime in when Amagi-senpai offered for him to join. It was harmless, and she could treat everyone with the favor the club owed her. The boy needed friends anyway, Rise knew what it was like to be alone._

_She’d thought maybe she’d even get a chance to push Kanji towards him, see if the bleach blond wouldn’t make a move for once. And maybe she and Senpai could…_

_But then it was Naoto taking her to her room, with Chie and Yukiko bringing up the rear, and she was pulling him in after they left, and tugging on his clothes, and…_

_And kissing his lips…._

_They were soft, she thought. Soft and pressing back against her, even if he’d said no one else was drunk, even if they hadn’t shared more than a few words at that point._

_She found herself back on the bed, glancing up at him through glazed eyes, chest heaving as she was entranced once more by that blue, blue gaze. She lifted a hand to his cheek, lips parted, skin flushed, whether by the atmosphere or something actually **being** in the drinks she didn’t know. _

_“You’re out of it, Kujikawa-san.” He’d murmured, flushed himself and tensing. She got the muffled impression from Himiko that he was confused, tense…but aroused. She felt a swell of pride at that, though maybe she should have thought more on jumping into bed with a cute boy she barely knew._

_She gave a husky chuckle, hand lowering from his face to his dress shirt and tie, nails lightly raking down the material. A dry swallow from him gave her another shot of pride, though when she attempted to undo his clothes his hand swiftly brushed her away._

_She pouted._

_“This is highly improper.” He spoke again, attempting once more to derail her. He **wanted** it, wanted it as bad as her, she could feel, but he still resisted.  She tugged him down, wanting another kiss, but he resisted._

_“Don’t you like me?” She’d whined, giving her best pouting lips and wide eyes, the look that had most boys falling all over themselves to see._

_“I barely know you.” He’d responded, voice soft and oddly soothing, breath brushing over her parted lips, and the erotic chill of it all was enough to make her shiver. Her eyes lidded, and she lifted her head those last few inches to give him another kiss._

_One he returned._

_Their tongues grazed each other, eyes closed and bodes shifting together. Once more she attempted to slip a hand beneath his shirt, and once more she was denied. He pulled away then, that deep blue gaze fogged over with lust, though he closed them, and when they opened again they were clear._

_“This is wrong.” He flatly stated, as if to himself, before pulling away from her to vanish back into the night._

_“No don’t.” She’d protested, grabbed him before he could slip away by his arms. He’d paused, though he pointedly glanced away. She’d never met someone so self-controlled, so contained. Perhaps he wasn’t as much of an ass as she’d originally thought…_

_“Please.” She’d begged, pulling him closer. “Stay…” She nuzzled into his arm, not at all certain if it was drugs or lingering atmosphere controlling her or just the idea that it was night time and no one was around to judge, or to please. No one but him._

_He was still for several moments, and when he gave off uncertainty she spoke again. “You don’t want to sleep alone tonight either…do you?” She’d asked, before pulling him back down. He resisted only a moment. “Please stay…don’t leave me alone.”_

_A flash of something, pain, a memory, went across his face…then he turned and wrapped an arm around her._

_They spent the rest of the night like that, with one or the other nuzzling into the other’s shoulder, pressing little kisses and basking in their scent._

_It was…comforting to think on, though it never went any further than that._

_Somehow that made it feel more intimate, if she were honest with herself._

_The next day was, naturally, awkward for them both. They had a mutual agreement and never mentioned it to anyone, not even each other._

_Then his-her secret came out, and Rise wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it anymore. The kisses, the burning heat in her eyes, or how she felt for herself. If she were honest, the desire was still there, but the implications…._

_It was better to ignore it, better to focus on Senpai and to push Kanji towards her. At least then they wouldn’t have to face any backlash…_

_It was almost a relief that Souji didn’t go for her after that, no matter how much it hurt. She would always love him, but right then…she wasn’t ready._

_And, anyway, no matter what happened that night Naoto-kun seemed more into Senpai than her anyway. They’d at least seemed close, spending the night together in a blizzard and all._

_She was…happy for them._

_At least…she tried to be._

_Just as she tried to be consoling when they had a falling out a few weeks later, though over what, she didn’t know. Souji wouldn’t talk about it and Naoto…_

_Naoto remained her cool, close lipped self as always._

_She’d have been worried about the cohesion of the group more, but during that time she’d been dealing with her own, personal problem. One she refused to mention to anyone else._

_Ever since she’d gained Himiko, the emotions of others had come clearer outside of the TV world. It was never as clear **inside** of course, but it was still enough to give her a general overview of a person’s state of mental health._

_And, according to Himiko, everyone in Inaba was nigh crazy with fear._

_And it was driving Rise near crazy as well. The clamor of emotion, wild feelings of low grade terror and anxiety were enough to disorient her, especially in such thick fog._

_It was a struggle to get home, even more of a struggle to sort out what feelings were hers and what were everyone else’s…._

_Then one day when she was confused and lost, trying to figure out which way was home and which was not, she managed to run into the detective herself._

_Suddenly, everything, all the fears and anxieties and low key panic screeched to a halt. The second she touched Shirogane she got one reading from her persona, one that cut through the rest._

**_She’s clear._ **

_What that meant, Rise didn’t know, but she clung to that stark clarity, the black/white dichotomy that was Naoto’s own persona in a nutshell, clung to it like a life raft in a torrential emotional sea._

_Something must have shone in her eyes, or maybe it was the way she tightly gripped Naoto’s arm, because the detective frowned at her in worry. “Are you alright, Kujikawa-san?” She’d asked, brows furrowed as she turned towards the Idol, hand rising to gently grip her side._

_She’d nodded, leaning closer to the shorter woman, breathing in her scent and remembering that night in the hotel and-no. No. Stop it Rise, she’d thought. Remember Senpai, he’s the one you like, right? She forced her mind away from those emotions, focused instead on the light and the dark. “I’m fine.” She responded._

_She then felt Naoto’s other hand brushing against her cheek, angling her face to meet those same deep blue eyes once more. “Do you need me to take you home?” She asked, after searching her for a bit._

_Rise wanted to say no, wanted to deny there a problem at all, but her head was the clearest it’d been in **days** and even if Naoto shifted from one spectrum to the other it was better than a thousand spectrums in seconds, than a thousand worries and fears pressing, pressing, pressing on her consciousness._

_She nodded. “Y-yes…if it’s not too much trouble.” She asked._

_The detective nodded, then carefully led her back home to her worried Grandmother._

_The next few days after that, she’d tried to go it alone, hadn’t asked for more help than was given. However, Naoto made it her mission to walk her back from then on, though she, thankfully, never brought any attention to it from the others._

_It felt like a secret, another one between them. Rise tried not to think of the last, though she felt herself drawing closer and closer to the detective, drawn both by the sense of calm and the memory of her scent, her warmth. She tried to deny the second, focused solely on the first._

_It was after an early shower that she got herself into trouble. Spurred by decorum and worry that one of their best ace in the hole’s would get sick she invited the detective inside. What became first an offering of clothes changed instead to a sleepover via her Grandmother, and one glance at the raging storm outside forced her hand._

_Proximity was enough to silence the presence of other emotions, being behind the four walls of her own home even more still, however it took physical contact to halt the low and insistent buzzing of low grade fear that she was feeling consistently, an ever present static, not loud enough to make her lose herself, but enough to cause sleep to be uneasy, to say nothing of the nightmares she suffered._

_It was during one such dream that she found herself awake, light sheen of sweat along her skin, her body flushed and too hot from all the covers she had piled onto her person. She wasn’t sleeping that night it seemed._

_She hoped, prayed she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping detective when she passed her on her way to the kitchen, hoping that some midnight tea would sooth her to slumber, but alas, it wasn’t to be._

_“Rise…?” The low dulcet tone slipped into her ears, causing her chest to tense as she turned back. Her eyes were met with those deep, deep blue, and she tried to give her best reassuring smile. “Go back to sleep Naoto-kun.” She’d insisted. “I’m fine.”_

_The detective wasn’t deterred, instead sitting up from the spare futon that Rise had laid out before. Her dress shirt was slightly rumpled, shifting down and allowing a slight peak at unbound breasts held within. Rise averted her eyes, flushing and pretending she hadn’t seen…it didn’t affect her, it just wasn’t something she was used to seeing, was all._

_Her mouth was dry._

_Ignorant to her struggle, Naoto got up and approached her, peering closely at her flushed and damp face. “You don’t seem alright.” She’d murmured, pressing a hand to her cheek and checking for a temperature. “Are you unwell?” She’d asked._

_Rise for her part couldn’t help but lean into the touch, her eyes closing as she visibly relaxed. She felt the detective stiffen, and so, realizing what she was doing, attempted to pull away._

_She was halted by Naoto’s other arm, quickly wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer. “There’s something wrong-been something wrong for several days.” She mused, her voice going into that tone it did when she was in ‘detective mode’, or so the others dubbed it. Rise glanced up to see her face in that expression she always used when putting clues together. She pursed her lips, wary of what she’d find out. “It’s your persona…isn’t it?” The detective asked, the certainty in her gaze not even wavering when Rise declined to respond. Her silence might have very well been a confirmation, as far as Naoto was concerned._

_The detective lifted her hand up further along Rise’s cheek, thumb idly stroking her skin. “Contact seems to help…something to do with me-or perhaps people you trust.” She surmised. Rise shook her head, placing her own hand along Naoto’s, giving into the contact and keeping her there instead. “No…just you.” She answered._

_She’d tried to see if the others helped. Tried to latch onto all of them in her usual clingy way. None had quite the same effect… Yosuke was a literal hurricane of emotion, nearly as bad as the rest of Inaba currently. Yukiko was calm for the most part, but beneath there was a smoldering rage ready to break from its cage, and Rise wasn’t comfortable being so close to it for a long period of time. Chie was explosive in her feelings, which made no sense when her persona controlled ice of all things. Kanji was like Yukiko, only his rage was closer to the surface, and Teddie…asking Teddie to contain himself was like asking him to stop breathing._

_Souji on the other hand was….fractured. As outwardly calm he was, his many multitude of persona and inner voices was enough to confuse her all on their own. **He** was just as bad as the **fog**._

_So. It was only Naoto who was as calm on the outside as in. Only her that calmed the emotional sea assaulting Rise from outside. Perhaps the shadow taking a form of a robot had merit, Rise didn’t know…_

_The detective’s gaze widened in surprise for a moment, before becoming distance, then softening soon afterward. She seemed to lean more towards Rise, the arm bracing her waist tightening ever so slightly. She had a flash of white clad arms, sleeves too long and covering their owner’s hands. Grasping, clinging, demanding not to be left alone._

_It was a feeling she could…sympathize with. A bit more than she allowed herself to show._

_“I see…” Her soft voice once more brought Rise’s mind out of the past, demanding attention with her intense blue gaze. “Perhaps then it would be wise if we were to...remain in contact for the night.” A hesitance before stating it, and was that a slight flush on her pale features? Rise tried hard not to think on it, tried not to remember that night in the hotel and how willing she’d been to sink into her arms and lose herself…_

_She summoned one of her winning and disarming grins, going to prod the detective in the chest. “Oh Naoto-kun, are you asking to sleep with me?” She teased, trying hard not to think too much on what she was saying, what she was suggesting. It was nothing. Girls did it all the time._

_That **was** a blush on her cheeks, and it only grew at her words. Naoto’s gaze slid away. “I-that is the idea.” She stammered, before turning back to her, then making Rise blush. “Would you be opposed?” No teasing grin from her, only an earnest question. Not even reassurance that it was just to help Rise out or anything…_

_A part of her wondered if she was asking for another reason, but, no, it was just Naoto. Naoto, who said no more words than she meant to. Naoto, whose social skills fell down to negative twelve on a good day. Naoto, who never thought that kissing her back in the middle of the night in some strange hotel was, perhaps, a bit weird._

_She was tempted to say yes, tempted to pull away and insist she just needed some water. But-the dream had been bad, and she didn’t want to have to struggle into slumber only to repeat it._

_And…a small part of her was **tired**. Tired of denying herself, tired of pulling away and pretending like her desire wasn’t there. It was just for one night, right? Only a night, then they’d act like it never happened the next day._

_Just like last time._

_She shook her head, leaning closer to the other woman, ducking her head down and, trying to ignore, trying to not see, glancing down at the peak of cleavage Naoto’s shirt provided._

_A jerky nod from the detective, and the fact that Naoto was just as…uncomfortable with this as she was helped Rise a little. However, in the next beat her forehead leaned against her’s, and Rise was overcome with that same familiar scent, the one that comforted her all those nights ago, that stirred something inside her, something that she just couldn’t DO with another woman!_

_“Do you want me to make you some tea first?” She asked, either not seeing or ignoring how suddenly tense Rise had become. It took her a moment, but she shook her head, only pressing closer to Naoto in an effort to hide her momentary panic, burying her face into the bluenette’s shoulder to try and stifle the emotions she wasn’t yet ready to face, or to acknowledge._

_She was so happy her shadow hadn’t forced her to confront **this**. Small mercies._

_Naoto nodded again, smoother this time, her hand shifting from Rise’s cheek to tangle in her hair, simply pulling the Idol close to her before going to lead her back to the futon. Like a gentleman, she tucked rise in before climbing under the covers herself, her arms going around her waist once more._

_Rise had turned away from her, her hands curling around the arm around her waist, her expression torn and miserable. It was a horrible trade off, taking the panic and fear from Inaba and replacing it with her own sick nerves. It didn’t help that she could pick up from Naoto as well, and even without Himiko, Rise was sure she’d be able to tell the detective’s inclinations. Even if she wasn’t acting on them, the emotions, gentle and sure, coming off her smaller person…_

_They were…nice._

_Naoto was being so gentle, always taking her feelings into consideration, cradling her like something precious, like something to be protected and cherished._

_It was exactly how she’d dreamed Souji, how she’d dreamed anyone, would treat her in the end._

_It made her want to cry._

_She turned to face her, unsurprised to see the detective was still away, deep blue eyes watching her, waiting. Naoto lifted her other hand to cup her cheek once more, the softness in her eyes not needing any words, or even Himiko, to interpret._

_Rise could read what was there on her own._

_She took in a deep, deep breath, closing her eyes and nuzzling into the soft, pale hand, breathing in that comforting scent. Hesitantly, she pressed her lips to the skin, marveling at how smooth it was. Naoto had such nice skin…_

_The hand curled around her chin, angling her face towards the detective’s. Rise’s eyes opened once more, her lips parting as her heart beat faster in her chest. There was a question there, silent, waiting for her answer._

_Rise’s gaze lidded, her own hand lifting to cup Naoto’s, her body moving despite herself, or maybe because of herself, her heart beating rapidly still. A contrast, to be so nervous in such a calm, quiet and gentle moment. Her eyes slowly slid closed as she moved forward, going to press her lips gently once more to the other woman’s._

_Her lips were still soft…._

* * *

 

Rise clenched a hand to her chest, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as the memories threatened to overcome her. It was in the past, and she’d moved on from that for now. It would have never led anywhere, no matter what she, or Shirogane, had felt. She wasn’t even **allowed** to date as an idol, never mind a torrid lesbian affair. Neither one of them could handle such a scandal.

They both had left such thoughts back in Inaba, and even if she was at the concert, which she was _not_ , that meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just because Souji found his way with his own taboo love affair didn’t mean she had to want hers.

She’d blown it anyway, left it behind like dust in the wind. Naoto-Shirogane wouldn’t want her back anyway.

The train screeched to a halt, putting her thoughts on hold as she and Inuoe-san got all their immediate luggage together and made their busy and bustling way over to the hotel. Rise got to have a break from her melancholy with Kanami-chan, and the other idols were more than willing to welcome her back in the hotel they all shared (in their own odd...complicated ways.)

So it was with a rather….unpleasant realization when Rise noticed an all too familiar face near one of the older idles, a veteran pop singer named Yoshe Nakada, a blonde beauty looking about six years younger than her actual age, a fact that had managed to keep her on stage for as long as she’d been. Rise didn’t know her, didn’t really like her, and to see who was standing with her made her…more than a little unsettled.

Unfortunately Yoshe-san had never had any qualms about going up to Rise whenever she had a mind to. “Ah, Risette-chi! Good to have you back! I’m sorry about all this trouble…” She gave a grin as fake as her boobs, and Rise tried hard to give one just as good, though she felt it lacked luster. “I hope you don’t mind, do you know Shirogane-san?” She asked, gesturing to a figure wearing an all too familiar face and expression, no nonsense and wearing a more adult version of her old uniform, in a much deeper navy blue with a black tie instead of a yellow one.

Her breasts were unbound, her hair a little longer, but she still looked androgynous as ever, and just as attractive…

“Oh, we know each other…” Rise answered, though there was hesitance in her voice, even if her smile was just as big and bright as she could want, with a bit more sincerity than she’d given Yoshe to boot.

Naoto….was not so bright. Once more capturing Rise in those deep, deep blue eyes, intense as always, only this time Rise couldn’t read what they were saying, was too afraid to look.

“Yes…” She responded after what would be an awkward pause on anyone but her. “We’re old…friends.” The pause wasn’t lost on either Rise or Yoshe, though the older woman was too polite (for once) to comment on it.

“Yeah…” Rise murmured back, her smile fading a little. “Friends…”

Today was not her day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a work in progress, but I have an idea of where I'm going with it. Should be. Uh. Interesting.


	3. Love The Way You Lie

Once more Himiko found herself smoothing out the frayed strands of her host’s emotional state. Once more, a discordant tune wracked her senses, shooting into her very being with the need, the drive to soothe.

It never failed to always give her a headache. If only Rise would learn to calm herself, to find a healthier way to cope with her pain.

Though…it wasn’t as if she could _blame_ her….

“Moping again?” Said a familiar and far too chipper voice, and the Navi persona tensed as her screen picked up on the light/dark signature of the flighty moth.

She tried to ignore him this time, but unfortunately Sukuna Hikona was very good at grabbing attention when he wanted it. He flitted in front of her screen, breaking her focus and her work, scattering the fragments of broken harmony everywhere with a smirking face hidden behind a mask. “You really need to get out more often.” He quipped, hovering and resting his chin in his hands, causing her to scowl beneath her screen.

He really was a pest sometimes.

She turned away from him, an irritated huff uttering from her as she tried to avoid him. He really wasn’t helping matters, especially since _his_ host was the reason for Rise’s distress.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that Himiko.” Sukuna whined, flitting back to face her, his pout visible, and she could see those too long sleeves drooping over his crossed arms, giving him a rather ridiculous appearance. “I thought you said Rise would be happy with this.” He huffed.

“That was before.” She answered, unable to ignore him for long, he just flew in her face wherever she turned anyway, and she wasn’t exactly as agile as he was, at least not in this form. “Things are…different now.” A part of her fell at that, her shoulders slumping. It wasn’t as if she was completely unhappy with the Fortune’s presence but…

She turned to face him fully, her golden gaze hard with the focus of a Navi. “And why are you so chipper anyway? I’d assume from the look on Naoto’s face that things would be different with you too.” She huffed, her arms crossing once more under her bust, though this time she wasn’t purposefully looking to show off. Sukuna confused her, and she didn’t like it.

The Fortune shrugged carelessly, going to land onto the formless darkness that served as the floor for them, his shadow body at last standing a few inches above her own, having reached that rare growth spurt with Naoto over the past few years. His smug smirk proved he was pleased with it at least. “Are we, or are we not the hidden desires our hosts try to hide from?” He asked, reaching out with a sleeved hand to pat her on the head.

She scowled and turned away, now that he was grounded more or less maybe he’d let her work a bit. “What are you doing Sukuna?” She asked, a tired sigh in her voice.

The Fortune swerved around to her front, far more graceful than she’d give him credit for, his hips swaying like so many dancers Risette had met in her time.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a sleeve covered hand went to cup gently along her cheek, a fond smile growing on the Fortune’s face. “I’d think that was obvious.” He responded, voice low.

Then he kissed her.

A myriad of emotions swept over her, and suddenly it was _her_ drowning, her creating discordant tunes and verse, her who was confused and didn’t know which way was right or up or…

She pushed him away, her eyes wide, delicate fingers resting on her plump lips, her heart racing.

“You…Why would you…?” She stammered, for all that they went back and forth, and a part of her _wanted_ his attention, the feelings were much more complex than that. For him to push with the current situation…

“Did I not say it was obvious?” The smaller Persona crossed his arms over his chest, arching a brow, his no nonsense expression just like his other self’s when she was being at her bluntest… “I think it’s time we stopped dancing around the subject.” He took a step closer, causing her to stiffen up. But he didn’t kiss her again, just rested another sleeve covered hand along her face. “I know you feel the same.”

“But…our other selves.” She stammered, golden eyes glancing away, though her own hand reached up to cover his. His contact was comforting, soothing… “You can’t tell me that Naoto isn’t still hurt from all those years before. It was clear from how she reacted earlier.” An empty bed and cold sheets and not even a goodbye the next day. Rise had been harsher than she normally would be, though it broke her a little inside.

But she couldn’t give in, no matter what she felt, or _thought_ she felt. Naoto at least seemed to have understood, despite the damage it caused.

Sukuna gave a long suffering sigh, thumb in the sleeve slowly stroking against her skin. “Himiko, what exactly are we meant to be?” He asked, his expression soft. “We are always meant to bring to light what’s pushed to the dark, and since we can’t force the issue anymore…” He trailed off, brows raising, expecting her to fill in the blanks.

Much as she understood, she was also quite aware of what complications her other self went through. As ready as Sukuna was to jump on the opportunity, she couldn’t reconcile it. “Suppose this plan of yours works.” She began, shutting her eyes and giving a sigh of her own. “There are other things to consider, especially for Rise. The Love Ban for instance.” Not to mention everything else that went with the clandestine relationship, he was…still sensitive about some things. Even if Naoto wasn’t anymore.

“Idiots.” He huffed, even as the Lovers nuzzled into his palm. “Thinking they can control someone’s life for the sake of a foolish fantasy.” He snorted in disgust, his other sleeve covered hand reaching up to cup her other cheek. “When will you stop letting others dictate who you _are_?” His words were hard, almost pleading. She opened her eyes to see his face, only a few inches from hers once again. Her heart raced in response, though she didn’t pull away this time.

“…You know why.” She answered reluctantly, her hand falling and her voice full of regret. Much as she wanted, almost needed this, there was too much behind it. So, so much, everything Rise knew was right or wrong, no matter how right it _felt_.

If it weren’t for all the extra baggage…

His face fell, though he didn’t pull away. “I didn’t expect this from you.” He sighed, his mood going back to dark, though there was sadness in his eyes past the cold words. “I won’t force you. I just…” He trailed off, something flickering in his expression before he pulled away, letting go of her face and turning about. “I’ll see you again Himiko.” He sighed, waving behind himself, sleeve end flapping in the aether. “This isn’t over.” He added, glancing behind himself and giving her a serious expression for a moment, before he turned back and prepared to fly off like he always did.

As she watched him prepare to go, something snapped inside her, and before she knew what she was doing her hand had reached out, snagging the Fortune before he could flit away.

He froze, eyes wide as he turned back. “...Himiko?” He asked, confusion evident on his expression.

Suddenly finding herself at an odd loss of worse Himiko struggled to get across her frantic and confused thoughts. “I-it’s complicated. You don’t understand-“ She began.

He turned fully, going to take her hands in his sleeved ones. Thank god for his observational skills because right then her communication skills were absolutely horrible. “I do understand.” He murmured, before giving a wry grin. “I just stopped denying myself. Not everything they say is to be taken into consideration.” An edge to his tone, though it wasn’t directed at her. No, he understood, probably more than her. He just refused to let it affect him.

Shouldn’t she as well?

She huffed, hands reaching up to his cheeks, ignoring the smug smirk growing on his face. Stupid bug, of course he guessed it would lead to this. “This is a horrible idea.” She grumbled.

His grin grew, his hands moving to grasp her hips. “Of course~” He crooned, before leaning to kiss her once again.

Before she could have another thought, the Fortune hitched her hips around his and walked her until she felt a firm surface along her back. She couldn’t _see_ anything behind her, just more of that blackish shifting mass, but it felt like a wall. It served its purpose either way, giving Sukuna Hikona a solid base with which to hold the petit navi up. She almost wanted to laugh, if a certain…part pressing against her wasn’t grabbing her attention.

Her head arched back, his lips brushing against her neck, and her arms and legs wrapped around his body as he hummed against her skin. It warmed her, in places more than between her legs, though his grinding certainly was enough to enflame her. Her hands tangled in azure hair, grasping for lack of anything else. The other persona made a pleased noise, his golden eyes half lidded as he moved his attentions to the tops of her ample chest.

She panted, watching him work, before she frowned. Her hands lowered from his hair and tugged at the cloth on his shoulders, small smirk growing on her lips.

“Take this off.” She complained, laughter lightening her voice. “You look ridiculous in it.”

He pouted, giving her a grumpy scowl from his spot at her breasts. “It’s fine. I think it makes me look distinguished.” He huffed.

“It _looks_ like you’re twice as small as you actually are. Please Sukuna.” She coaxed. He was so ridiculous sometimes, why he clung to that stupid coat…he wasn’t even a doctor.

With much grumbling and complaining the Fortune obliged, pulling away from her for a moment to tug the coat off his person, letting it pool carelessly to the side and instantly transforming his whole profile. She allowed her eyes to roam along his body. Though he was still in a uniform, and still lean, the past few years allowed him to fill the clothes out a bit more, a hint of muscle in the arms, some more bulk along the shoulders, even if he was slenderer than he would have liked…

Overall she liked the look, and showed her appreciation with a slight wetting of her lips and a patented ‘come hither’ glance as she leaned back against the invisible wall.

His eyes flashed, and he gave her a devils’ smirk of his own before slowly sauntering his way back to pin her, one hand cupping beneath her thigh, his other bracing himself along her opposite side. “Now where were we…?” He purred, lips inches from hers.

“I believe around here.” She murmured in answer, before reaching out almost desperately towards his face, pulling him in for another hungry kiss. She could see what he’d meant, before. About them having to shove all this out into the open. They couldn’t _confront_ their other selves anymore, not since being accepted, but such things as this might have the power to seep through. They were still connected after all, right?

Maybe this would be good for Rise…

That was what she told herself at least, to assuage her guilt as clever fingers undid the strong of her bikini, hooked her leg further up his hip, ignore as he ground _himself_ directly against her, making her throw her head back and gasp.

To think anything else would be counterproductive after all.

Her hands moved back into his hair, and her top met the same fate as her bottom, allowing his mouth free access to her bosom. She closed her eyes, giving herself fully to the sensations, her mind a roaring discord of harmonies all clashing together but it no longer mattered. None of it mattered with his hands and mouth all over her.

And as his hot breath ghosted along her neck, and his whispered, desperate words broke her concentration she couldn’t help but open her eyes to meet his, gleaming, desperate. “Himiko…” A needy plea prompting her to cup his face in her hands, her lips meeting his once more as they were suddenly _joined_ , the sensations overwhelming her, and she could help but to think…

Maybe it was a good thing to let go, to break the _rules_ , once in a while….

* * *

 

Rise woke up in a cold sweat, her thoughts chasing each other as she rushed to splash cold water on her face in the bathroom. She _hadn’t_ , had she? That wasn’t Naoto…Naoto didn’t have…that…

She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, trying to ignore the flush on the face or between her legs as she tried to calm herself down. It was just a dream, that was all. It had to be a dream.

Though, she could almost feel the phantom memory of hands grasping her legs, of lips against her neck, against her…

She turned away from the mirror, then rung up late room service, it wouldn’t be the first time, and got the biggest order of dessert she could reasonably get away with. She wasn’t going to be sleeping again for a while yet.

* * *

 

Somewhere on the other side of the hotel Naoto woke up just as abruptly, her heart racing and skin flushed down to her chest. More than just her skin was enflamed of course, but she chose to push that to the very deepest corners of her mind…no matter how intriguing such phantom sensations were.

She promptly went for her shower and set it to the coldest setting.

 _She_ didn’t sleep at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was craaaaaap but I finally did it. Also I hc Sukuna Hikona like this, Naoto's mind is a Fruedian NIGHTMARE I swear. I leave all your debates for you guys to deal with. Next chapter coming soon too. 
> 
> I need to get some liquid motivation or something I swear...


End file.
